The Hidden Connection Between Money and Mental Health
Most people don’t realize that their anxiety is directly tied to their financial situation, lifestyle choices, and the countless obligations they’ve accumulated. In his groundbreaking book Building a Non-Anxious Life, Dr. John Delony identifies freedom as one of six critical daily choices for eliminating anxiety. This isn’t abstract philosophical freedom—it’s the practical, tangible freedom that comes from living within your means, eliminating debt, and making choices that align with your values rather than societal expectations.
Dr. Delony, a mental health expert at Ramsey Solutions and host of The Dr. John Delony Show, has counseled thousands of people who discovered that their anxiety significantly decreased when they addressed the financial chaos and overcommitment in their lives. The path to a non-anxious life requires choosing freedom from the bondage of debt, consumerism, and a lifestyle you can’t afford.
Understanding the Anxiety-Debt Connection
Research consistently shows a strong correlation between financial stress and mental health problems. People carrying significant debt report higher rates of anxiety, depression, and even physical health issues. Yet we rarely discuss this connection explicitly.
In Building a Non-Anxious Life, Dr. John Delony shares his own experience of making “idiotic, self-sabotaging choices” with money. He was reckless with borrowing, lived beyond his means, and felt constant anxiety about his financial situation. This wasn’t separate from his mental health struggles—it was central to them.
How Financial Bondage Creates Anxiety
Debt fundamentally changes your relationship with work, time, and choice. When you owe money, you’re not truly free:
- You can’t leave a toxic job because you need the income
- You can’t reduce hours to spend more time with family
- You can’t say no to extra work even when you’re exhausted
- You can’t take risks on meaningful opportunities
- You can’t be generous because every dollar is already spoken for
Dr. Delony explains that anxiety alarms are connected to the parts of our brain that filter and direct attention. When your financial situation is genuinely precarious, your brain correctly identifies this as a threat and sounds alarms accordingly. The anxiety isn’t irrational—it’s your body recognizing that you lack the freedom to navigate life’s challenges.
The Consumerism Trap
Beyond debt, our culture of consumerism creates anxiety through constant comparison and manufactured inadequacy. Social media shows us everyone else’s highlight reel, advertisements tell us we’re incomplete without their products, and societal expectations pressure us to maintain appearances regardless of actual means.
Dr. Delony writes that we make choices based on what others think we should have rather than what actually brings us peace. The house that’s too big, the car with payments we can’t afford, the clothes to maintain an image, the entertainment subscriptions we never use—these things don’t provide freedom. They create bondage disguised as lifestyle.
The Six Dimensions of Freedom
In Building a Non-Anxious Life, Dr. John Delony explores multiple dimensions of freedom that work together to reduce anxiety:
1. Financial Freedom
This is the foundation. Financial freedom means:
- Living on less than you make
- Eliminating consumer debt
- Building an emergency fund
- Making decisions based on values, not fear
- Having margin to be generous and respond to opportunities
Dr. Delony references Dave Ramsey’s proven approach to financial wellness, emphasizing that you cannot build a non-anxious life while drowning in debt. The constant background stress of financial obligation keeps your nervous system activated and your mind occupied with worry.
2. Calendar Freedom
Many people are financially solvent but still lack freedom because they’ve overcommitted their time. Dr. Delony addresses the epidemic of busyness that leaves people exhausted, disconnected, and anxious.
Calendar freedom means:
- Having white space in your schedule
- Being able to say no to commitments
- Protecting time for rest, relationships, and restoration
- Not scheduling every minute of every day
- Building margin for the unexpected
3. Relational Freedom
This involves setting healthy boundaries in relationships. Dr. Delony references the work of Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend on boundaries, as well as Nedra Tawwab’s Set Boundaries, Find Peace.
Relational freedom includes:
- The ability to say no without excessive guilt
- Not being responsible for managing others’ emotions
- Choosing how you spend your relational energy
- Ending or limiting toxic relationships
- Being yourself without performance or pretense
4. Physical Freedom
Chronic health problems, poor fitness, and low energy limit freedom and increase anxiety. When your body doesn’t work well, every task becomes harder and every stressor feels magnified.
Physical freedom means:
- Having energy for what matters
- Not being limited by preventable health issues
- Feeling capable in your body
- Having the physical capacity to engage with life
- Not being trapped by addiction or compulsive behaviors
5. Mental Freedom
This involves freedom from compulsive thoughts, rumination, and the tyranny of anxiety itself. Dr. Delony references Dr. Judson Brewer’s work on Unwinding Anxiety and the importance of developing awareness around thought patterns.
Mental freedom includes:
- The ability to direct your attention
- Not being hijacked by anxious thoughts
- Choosing how to interpret experiences
- Having mental space for creativity and joy
- Freedom from obsessive thinking
6. Spiritual Freedom
Dr. Delony discusses belief as one of the six daily choices, emphasizing that spiritual freedom—connection to something larger than yourself and a sense of ultimate meaning—provides profound anxiety relief.
Practical Steps to Choose Freedom
Start with Financial Freedom: The Debt Elimination Plan
Dr. Delony strongly advocates for Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps approach referenced in The Total Money Makeover:
Step 1: Save $1,000 for emergencies This small buffer stops the cycle of using debt for unexpected expenses.
Step 2: Pay off all debt (except mortgage) using the debt snowball List debts from smallest to largest and attack them one at a time. The psychological wins build momentum.
Step 3: Build 3-6 months of expenses in savings This creates genuine financial security and dramatically reduces anxiety.
Step 4: Invest 15% of income for retirement Future security reduces present anxiety about aging and stability.
Step 5: Save for children’s education Reducing future financial burden on your family provides peace.
Step 6: Pay off your home Complete financial freedom—no payments to anyone.
Step 7: Build wealth and give generously Freedom to make a difference and leave a legacy.
Dr. Delony emphasizes that each step reduces anxiety because you’re gaining genuine financial security, not just managing symptoms of financial stress.
Create Calendar Margin
Examine your calendar for the next month. What percentage is committed versus open? Dr. Delony suggests that a schedule with no white space is a recipe for anxiety.
Practical calendar freedom steps:
- Identify three commitments you can eliminate or reduce
- Schedule blocks of completely unstructured time
- Practice saying “let me check my calendar and get back to you” before committing
- Protect one day per week with minimal commitments
- Build 15-minute buffers between scheduled activities
The anxiety many people experience isn’t just about what they’re doing—it’s about the fact that they never stop doing.
Simplify Your Lifestyle
In Building a Non-Anxious Life, Dr. John Delony references the work of The Minimalists and the power of simplification. Every possession requires maintenance, attention, and mental energy. Excess stuff creates clutter that feeds anxiety.
Simplification strategies:
- Apply the 90/90 rule: If you haven’t used it in 90 days and won’t in the next 90, let it go
- Stop acquiring new things as default entertainment or emotional management
- Reduce subscriptions and recurring expenses
- Live in a smaller space that matches your actual needs
- Choose experiences over possessions
Set Boundaries That Create Freedom
Boundaries aren’t walls that keep people out—they’re property lines that define where you end and others begin. Dr. Delony writes that boundaries are essential for freedom because without them, your life is controlled by others’ expectations and demands.
Boundary-setting framework:
- Identify where you’re overextended: Where do you feel resentment, exhaustion, or violation?
- Clarify your limits: What are you willing and unwilling to do?
- Communicate clearly: State your boundary without over-explaining or apologizing
- Follow through: Boundaries without consequences aren’t boundaries
- Expect pushback: People benefiting from your lack of boundaries will resist
Build Multiple Streams of Margin
Dr. Delony teaches that freedom requires margin—space between your current situation and disaster. Anxiety thrives when we’re operating at maximum capacity with zero buffer.
Create margin in:
- Finances: Emergency fund and income above expenses
- Time: White space in your calendar
- Energy: Rest and recovery built into your week
- Relationships: Not all social capacity committed
- Mental capacity: Time for processing, reflection, and creativity
The Freedom Paradox
Here’s what Dr. Delony helps readers understand: Choosing freedom often feels like restriction in the short term. Saying no to debt means saying no to instant gratification. Building savings means delaying purchases. Setting boundaries means disappointing people. Simplifying means letting go of things you paid for.
But this temporary restriction creates lasting freedom, while the alternative—the temporary freedom of “yes” to everything—creates lasting bondage.
The question isn’t whether you’ll experience restriction; it’s whether you’ll experience it by choice or by force. Choose to restrict spending now, or have creditors restrict your choices later. Choose to limit commitments now, or have burnout limit them for you. Choose to set boundaries now, or have resentment and breakdown do it eventually.
Freedom Enables the Other Choices
Dr. Delony’s six daily choices in Building a Non-Anxious Life are interconnected:
- Choose Reality
- Choose Connection
- Choose Freedom
- Choose Health
- Choose Mindfulness
- Choose Belief
Freedom supports every other choice:
- Financial freedom gives you resources for health and wellness
- Calendar freedom creates space for connection and relationship
- Mental freedom allows for mindfulness and self-awareness
- Spiritual freedom provides context for choosing reality and belief
Without freedom, every other choice becomes exponentially harder. Anxiety about money makes it difficult to be present in relationships. Overcommitment prevents investing in health. Lack of boundaries depletes the energy needed for mindfulness practices.
Common Obstacles to Choosing Freedom
“I Deserve It”
Consumer culture teaches that we deserve everything we want, when we want it. Dr. Delony challenges this narrative. You deserve peace, security, and freedom—but these come from discipline, not indulgence.
“Everyone Else Is Doing It”
Debt is normal. Overcommitment is expected. Busyness is a status symbol. Dr. Delony reminds readers that normal is anxious, unhealthy, and disconnected. Don’t pursue normal; pursue freedom.
“I’ll Start After…”
After this purchase, after this busy season, after this vacation, after the kids are older. Dr. Delony is clear: The perfect time to choose freedom will never arrive. Start today with one decision that moves you toward freedom.
“It’s Too Late for Me”
Whether due to age, debt level, or past choices, some people believe freedom is no longer possible. Dr. Delony’s message throughout Building a Non-Anxious Life is one of hope. It’s never too late to start making different choices. Every step toward freedom reduces anxiety, regardless of starting point.
Conclusion: Freedom as Daily Practice
Dr. John Delony emphasizes that building a non-anxious life requires daily choices. Freedom isn’t a destination you reach and maintain effortlessly—it’s a daily practice of choosing liberation over bondage.
Every day you choose to:
- Live within your means instead of spending impulsively
- Protect white space instead of overcommitting
- Maintain boundaries instead of people-pleasing
- Simplify instead of accumulate
- Build margin instead of operating at capacity
These choices feel small in the moment, but they compound over time into a life characterized by freedom rather than anxiety.
The anxiety many people experience isn’t mysterious or irrational—it’s their body correctly identifying that they lack freedom. You cannot be at peace while living in bondage to debt, others’ expectations, and a lifestyle you can’t sustain.
Choose freedom. Start today with one decision that moves you toward financial, relational, or calendar liberation. Then choose it again tomorrow. As Dr. Delony promises in Building a Non-Anxious Life, these choices will transform not just your circumstances but your fundamental experience of anxiety itself.
True freedom isn’t having everything you want—it’s wanting what you have and having the margin to navigate whatever comes your way. That freedom is available to you, starting with the next choice you make.