Stop Being Authentic at Work—Do This Instead for Respect and Results

In an era where workplace culture champions authenticity above all else, former US Secret Service Agent Evy Poumpouras delivers a message that challenges everything we’ve been told: Don’t bring your authentic self to work.

During her revealing conversation on The Diary of a CEO podcast with host Steven Bartlett, Poumpouras—who spent years protecting presidents and interrogating terrorists—shared insights that contradicted popular workplace wisdom. Her perspective, forged through high-stakes situations where self-regulation meant the difference between life and death, offers a radically different approach to professional success.

The Problem with Workplace Authenticity

“I want your professional self. I want your respectful self. I want your empathetic self. I want your competent self,” Poumpouras explained. “You can bring your authentic self to Thanksgiving meal with your family if you’d like to.”

The modern workplace has embraced authenticity as a core value, encouraging employees to “bring their whole selves to work.” But according to Poumpouras, this well-intentioned advice creates significant problems in professional environments.

Your authentic self focuses on one person: you. It centers on your feelings, your needs, your reactions, and your emotions in the moment. While this self-focus might feel liberating personally, it creates friction in team environments where collective goals and professional standards must take precedence.

What High Performers Do Differently

Poumpouras learned her approach to professionalism in environments where stakes couldn’t be higher. In the US Secret Service, agents don’t have the luxury of emotional authenticity. When protecting the President of the United States, personal feelings become irrelevant.

“Could you imagine if I brought my authentic New York self to every interrogation I did?” she asks. “I would interview people who committed crimes against children. If I’m talking to someone who hurt a three-year-old little girl, my authentic self would want to react. But I brought my professional self—non-judgment, poker face.”

The distinction matters because what you think is irrelevant when you have a mission. Getting information, solving problems, and serving the collective goal takes precedence over personal emotional expression.

Research supports this approach. Studies show that high-performing teams don’t rely on individual authenticity but rather on role clarity, mutual respect, and professional boundaries. When everyone brings their unfiltered selves to work, productivity suffers and interpersonal conflict increases.

Professional Self vs. Authentic Self: Understanding the Difference

The professional self isn’t about being fake or phony. It’s about self-regulation and intentional contribution. Here’s how they differ:

Your Authentic Self:

• Reacts emotionally in the moment
• Centers on personal needs and feelings
• Expresses opinions without filtering
• Demands to be seen and heard
• Makes work about individual identity

Your Professional Self:

• Responds thoughtfully and strategically
• Focuses on team goals and outcomes
• Communicates with purpose and impact
• Contributes value to the collective mission
• Makes work about professional excellence

“Everything becomes me, me, me,” Poumpouras observed about authentic self-expression. “Everything is what’s happening to me. What’s in it for me? Do you know that you impact other people? You affect other people’s lives. You make the work environment easier or more taxing.”

The Secret to Self-Regulation

One of the most powerful insights from Poumpouras’s experience is that self-regulation is a learnable skill, not an innate personality trait.

“Can someone learn to be a better self-regulator of their emotions?” host Steven Bartlett asked.

“Yeah. I did,” Poumpouras responded. “I was very hot-headed growing up. I just had nothing going for me. I had to learn and I learned in the NYPD.”

The key to developing self-regulation lies in two critical factors:

1. Environment and Mentorship

Poumpouras was placed in environments with highly regulated people and instructors who kept her in check. Your circle determines your emotional regulation capability. If everyone around you is emotionally volatile, you’ll struggle to develop self-control. If you’re surrounded by steady, professional people, their standards become yours.

2. Understanding Your Governor

“We all have a governor who manages our emotions,” Poumpouras explained. “Even though you’re panicking, you’re afraid, you’re angry, you’re sad, there has to be a governor that says, ‘I know you’re there. Keep it quiet.’ That’s how you regulate your emotions.”

Self-regulation doesn’t mean you stop feeling emotions. The internal surge still happens—the amygdala still fires, cortisol still spikes. But externally, you maintain composure and professional comportment.

This skill becomes easier with practice. Poumpouras noted that after years in law enforcement, where people would get in her face, yell, and attempt to provoke reactions, she developed what she calls a “higher threshold” for tolerating nonsense.

When Authenticity Belongs at Work

Poumpouras isn’t advocating for robotic, emotionless workplaces. The distinction lies in genuine versus authentic.

“Nobody wants a phony,” she clarified. “But authentic self has become me, me. Everybody check me out. It’s me, me.”

Being genuine means:

• Actually caring about your team’s success
• Showing real empathy for colleagues
• Bringing honest effort and integrity
• Building authentic relationships based on mutual respect
• Caring about the mission you serve

Being authentic—in the way modern culture defines it—means:

• Making work about your personal journey
• Expecting others to accommodate your emotions
• Demanding validation for your feelings
• Prioritizing personal expression over professional outcomes

The difference is subtle but critical. Genuine people contribute value. Authentic people demand attention.

Practical Applications for Your Career

How can you implement this wisdom without becoming inauthentic? Here are actionable strategies:

1. Separate Personal from Professional Contexts

Reserve emotional processing for appropriate venues. Your therapist, close friends, family members, or journal are better recipients of unfiltered authenticity than your colleagues or manager.

At work, ask yourself: “Is what I’m about to share contributing to our goals or just demanding attention for my feelings?”

2. Develop Your Emotional Governor

Before reacting in meetings or responding to emails:

• Pause for 10 seconds before speaking
• Ask: “What outcome do I want from this interaction?”
• Consider: “How will this land on the other person?”
• Evaluate: “Am I responding or reacting?”

3. Build Your Professional Persona

Your professional self isn’t fake—it’s the highest functioning version of you. Identify what qualities your professional self embodies:

• Competence
• Reliability
• Strategic thinking
• Emotional stability
• Solution orientation

Then consciously activate those qualities in work contexts.

4. Choose Your Circle Carefully

“Who’s around you?” Poumpouras asks. If everyone in your orbit is emotionally dysregulated, change your environment. Seek mentors, colleagues, and leaders who model the professional comportment you want to develop.

The Bottom Line on Workplace Authenticity

The message isn’t that you should suppress your humanity at work. It’s that bringing your unfiltered, unregulated emotional self into professional contexts hurts your career and damages your team.

Your professional self is genuinely you—just the most skilled, regulated, and effective version. It’s you when you’re serving something bigger than yourself. It’s you when you prioritize impact over expression.

“This isn’t about me,” Poumpouras says of her approach to interviews and presentations. “You’ve invited me here. This isn’t about me. It is about them, the audience. I don’t matter. You’re irrelevant. We’re two people who are trying to share information that maybe hopefully makes the world a better, more wise, more just place. They matter. We don’t.”

This perspective shift—from self-focus to service-focus—transforms how you show up professionally. It’s not about hiding yourself. It’s about bringing the self that serves others best.

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Key Takeaways

• Workplace authenticity often translates to self-focus that damages team dynamics
• Self-regulation is learnable through environment, mentorship, and practice
• Your professional self is genuine without being unfiltered
• High performers focus on mission and impact over personal expression
• The quality of your circle determines your ability to self-regulate

Former Secret Service Agent Evy Poumpouras’s insights, shared on The Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett, offer a much-needed corrective to workplace culture’s authenticity obsession. The most successful professionals don’t bring their authentic selves to work—they bring their best selves.